Advice Column and Questionnaire! Naruto Style!
by Insanity0Rocks0My0Socks
Summary: The Naruto characters have been forced to answer and reply to all your comments! So come and ask a question or just come to annoy them! It is fun! Really! Rating for cussing and for future replies that I do not know about, yet! Also, just to be safe!
1. Introduction!

This is the Advice and Questionnaire Column, Naruto style!

Have a random question? Ask it here!

Want to ask a question for the cast of Naruto? Then come on in!

Need advice for a problem? Then we can help! Or make it worse! Who knows!

Or would you just like to comment on something? Then have a say!

They will answer... Okay, they are **forced** to answer the question, but that is not the point!

Now, without further ado...!

_Me- Hello! This is Rikku! Every one here?_

_Naruto- What the hell are we doing here?_

_Me- ... Because I forced you?_

_Naruto- Oh... Okay then!_

_Sakura- Not okay! I want out of here!_

_Me- But __**then**__ you won't be near Sasuke!_

_Sakura- You have a point there! (stares at Sasuke)_

_Ino- Back off Billboard Brow!_

_Sakura- Pig!_

_(Ino and Sakura glare at eachother)_

_Hinata- A-ano..._

_Me- Yes, Hinata?_

_Hinata- Will we be let out?_

_Me- Well, I wasn't planning on it, but I will let you have recess just because I like you!_

_Hinata- Th-thank you?_

_Gaara- (glare)_

_Me- (stares)_

_Gaara- (glares more)_

_Me- (stares then blinks) Dang it! You won! Grr... I will have to work on my staring!_

_Lee- Yosh! That is the YOUTHFUL SPIRIT!_

_Tenten- (shakes head)_

_Me- Alrighty then! I shall await your questions and what-not! Please review so that I have something to do! Thank you! (smiles)_


	2. Session 1

This one goes out to our first reviewer! Thank you Evil Riggs!

_Me- Hello! Welcome! This one is from Evil Riggs, thanks for reviewing!_

**Hi guys! I'm so excited. Long time listener, first time caller. My first question goes out to Hinata:**

**On occasion, you've been known to show flashes of great skill and brilliance. The only thing that holds you back is your pathological shyness. Keeping this in mind, do you think that Kevin Durant will pan out as a powerhouse in the NBA, or will he fizzle like so many highly-rated college players before him?**

_Hinata- A-ano, Thank you for the compliment... I think, but I don't know what the NBA is-_

_Me- It stands for National Basketball Association!_

_Naruto- What the heck is that!_

_Me- It's a sport!_

_Naruto (blank look)_

_Me- (shakes head) Never mind._

_Hinata- Well, anyways, um- I am sure that, uh... Kevin Durant could do great if he really wanted to, but uh... whether he does or doesn't is up to him, really._

_--- _

_Me- Uh oh! Guys! She has arrived!_

_Naruto- No! Not her!_

_Sakura- There went my sanity!_

_Tenten- Hide!_

**Whee-ness! Hiya Rikku, Hiya Naruto Cast!**

**This be Yuna-Rikku's Bestest Friend ever! Now answer me this:**

**Naruto - Ahem, Naruto, I like you, really I do-you remind me of Rikku on a suger-high and thats always fun...but honestly! Hello-can you not see the girl thats right in front of you!? I mean-let Sakura and Ino fight over Sasuke and you go with Hinata! Shes crazy about you and you too are so cute. (Evil grin) Or...(really evil grin) You could forget the girls all together and go with SASUKE! That would be dead smexy! Rikku-dont shake your head, you think its smexy too!**

**Anyways moving on!**

**Sasuke - Now beore you kill me, just here me out. Have you ever thought about being with the fox? I mean really? And if not, well then go with Sakura-forget Ino (No offense Ino) Your hott, yes I think so (emo) I cant believe it-the phyco evil sadistic traitor is the one all girls love...(sigh)**

**Sakura - Now-be nice to me, I may have told Sasuke and Naruto to be together-but I also told Sasuke to go off with you if not Naruto! Besides your a great Med-Nin! Your pretty too.**

**Ino - Listen, I like you-but you need to give up on Sasuke...go for Choji! Yeah! He's cool!**

**Shikamaru - Sup Shika! Dont you ever get bored? Or doesnt it bug you that everything in the world is so damn troublesome? Your cool...go be with Temari! She rocks!**

**Choji - Hiya buddy! I love how can get a cake in your bag thing! Thats so cool! Oh-and do you like Ino? You guys would be cute together!**

**Kiba - Like-whoa! You just rule! Your hott, funny and just a really cool guy! (grins) sorry had to say it!**

**Hinata - Oh, poor shy little Hinata. If you really care about Naruto, and we all (besides Naruto) know that you do, go and tell him that! Walk up to him and just kiss him!!**

**Shino - ... (Blank look) ...**

**Kankuro - KANKY! Hey, Kanky is one vowel away from KINKY! Did you know that? Rikku told me that...I think? Anyways-dude, the puppets? They scare the out of me-but you are so awesome!**

**Temari - OMHG OMG OMG! YOU ARE THE COOLEST EVER! You like seriously, dont know how cool you are! Your beautiful, tought, very awesome! Plus you can put up with 2 brothers? Wow-props to you...how do you put up with those two?**

**Gaara -...PANDA-Chan!! Now-this is really random..but..you should totally be with Neji! Now THAT would be dead sexy! (drool) Yes I have a sick mind deal with it. Can I poke the sand? Also-whcih would you rather be called; Mr. Sandman, Gaara-kun, or Panda-chan?**

**Neji - Hee hee...hee? Now, Mr. I think Im the Hyuuga, whats your deal? Your an to Hinata and Naruto-and well pretty much everyone else too, but your so damn fine! You'd be well with Garra!**

**Lee - Ok one question...What are you on and where can I get some?! Ok so it was two-big whoop.**

**TenTen - No offence girl, but you really need to make up your mind! Do you like Neji (who should be with Gaara.) Or Lee? I mean god!**

**Akamaru! - Hiya pup! You are so cute! I love love love you! I love dogs-but cats are cool too. I cant choose-maybe that means I like foxes? WHEE NARUTO! Anyways-keep it real dog!**

**Ok-so this was mainly comments and proof of how shreaded my sanity is, I will be back...and trust me, you will not like it. But you have to deal. Next time there might be more questions...oh well.**

**-PEACE OUT!**

**Yunalesca Lynn Braska**

_Me- Yay! You reviewed! Woot!_

_Naruto- I thought that that wasn't a good thing?_

_Me- ... Well, not for you people! Now answer the questions!_

_Naruto- Thanks... I think? And, uh, girl in front of me? (looks in front) There is no one there! Go with Hinata where?_

_Sakura- (face plant)_

_Me- I never shook my head! Stop accusing me!_

_Naruto- Go with Sasuke? Go with him where? I don't get it!_

_Sakura & Ino- (Glare at Yuna)_

_Sasuke- (begins planning Yuna's death)_

_Sasuke- (glares before continuing on death plans)_

_Naruto- What fox?_

_Sakura- Thank you! See? I told you me and him were meant to be Ino-pig!_

_Ino- (glares at Yuna) Oh no you didn't! Me and Sasuke are supposed to be together!_

_Sakura- Yeah right!_

_(Ino and Sakura glare at each other... again)_

_Sakura- Thank you so much for that compliment! I should really be thanking Tsunade for taking me under her wing! (smiles)_

_Ino- Choji?! Please! He is a good friend, truly, but go out with him? I will never give up on my Sasuke!_

_Sakura- Hey! He's mine! Yuna even said that we should be together!_

_Ino- She also said for Naruto and Sasuke to go together._

_Naruto- GO TOGETHER WHERE!? I don't get it! (whines)_

_Shikamaru- ... Thanks. Sometimes. Yes. (sighs)_

_Temari- Oh! And you don't even comment on the part about me!? Why not!? Oh! And thanks for the compliment! (pulls out fan) Now where was I? Oh yeah! (glares) Shikamaru!_

_Shikamaru- How troublesome. (runs away with Temari chasing him)_

_Choji- Thanks! Yeah, I think it's cool, too! Um... Well, yeah I like Ino. She is one of my friends after all. And we would be cute together? Um... (blushes)_

_Ino- (blushes slightly)_

_Kiba- Yes, I know! I am just that cool! (grins)_

_Hinata- A-ano... (blushes)_

_Naruto- (wasn't paying attention) Huh? What happened? Why is Hinata blushing?_

_Hinata- (faints)_

_Shino- ..._

_Me- Sorry! We can't tell what he is doing right now because of his glasses and coat so we don't know if he is staring back or if he is even still awake. But I am sure that he is staring right back at you Yuna!_

_Kankurou- (twitch) DON'T CALL ME THAT! Rikku! What did you tell her!?_

_Me- Hehehe...! Um... (runs away)_

_Kankurou- (sighs) I'll deal with her later. And if my puppets bother you so much, then get over it! But, uh, thanks anyways._

_Temari- (comes back without Shikamaru) Thank you so much! I really am aren't I?_

_Kankurou- Great. You boosted her ego._

_Temari- WHAT WAS THAT!?_

_Kankurou- (is suddenly quiet)_

_Temari- Does that answer your question?_

_Gaara- (glare)_

_Me- (comes back) My "Gaara-sama Translation Guide Booklet" states that he is either saying, "I hate your guts right now and you better sleep with one eye open." OR he is saying, "You really think so? I don't care if you poke my sand, but it might hurt. And which ever." But I am not so sure on that._

_Everyone (but Naruto)- (face plants)_

_Naruto- I missed something again, didn't I?_

_Sakura- Yes you did._

_Naruto- Dang!_

_Neji- (raises eyebrow) Uh huh?_

_Hinata- Neji-nii-san is not as... uh, mean as he was before._

_Naruto- Yeah, he was an ass to me and pretty much everyone, but he knows that I can kick his ass so he is better. (grins triumphantly)_

_Neji- (glares menecingly)_

_Me- (pulls out "Hyuuga Neji Translation Guide Booklet") He just said, "You wish you could." OR he said, "Yeah, your right." I really need to get a better booklet over here! These things have too many options!_

_Everyone- (sweatdrop)_

_Neji- (walks off completely ignoring the comment about Gaara)_

_Lee- I am on the floor?_

_Tenten- No. What makes you so... uh, entergetic?_

_Lee- Oh. YOUTH!! EVERYONE HAS SOME!_

_Tenten- (sweatdrop) Uh... (blushes) Well... see... (turns and walks away secretly thinking to herself that Yuna was right about Neji and Gaara)_

_Akamaru- Bark!_

_Me- (this time whips out "Dog Translation Booklet") He said, "Thanks for the compliment! I don't really like cats! Except maybe to chase them!" OR, yes there is another "or" because these things have WAY too many options, he said, "I am the Muffin Man!" I have no idea._

_Everyone- (don't even react)_

_Sakura- We're used to it by now._

_Me- (waves) Bye Yunie!_

_Everyone- (does other things)_

_Me- (twitch) SAY GOOD BYE TO YUNIE!_

_Everyone- (stops what they are doing) Bye Yuna. (monotone while waving slowly)_

_(Gaara, Neji, and Sasuke do nothing)_

_Me- (twitch)_

_Akamaru- Woof!_

_Me- He says-_

_Kiba- Let me translate! I should have earlier, but I didn't. Geez, you are horrible at translations! He says, "Bye!"_

_Me- (sulks in corner) Sniff_

This ends Session 1! Please join us next time on "Adive Column and Questionnaire, Naruto Style!" See ya then! (waves)


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